Inspiration from Self-Help Books to Recover from Burnout
These self-help books helped me a lot
These books also influenced my writing of this booklet. Interestingly though, I currently hardly read self-help books anymore. It feels like they prescribe me what to do, whereas by now, I have developed an intuition of what is good for me, which often feels more promising than the world’s best advice. This reminds me of how Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha also does not follow Buddha even though he considered his doctrine as the best and most complete possible. Nevertheless, Siddhartha only turned down the opportunity of becoming his follower once he had gotten to know him, before which he had studied and practiced doctrines for leading a good life for many years.
Tim Ferriss — The 4-hour Workweek (2007)
Coincidentally, I read this book on the weekend during which I realized that the exhaustion from my common cold (or so I thought) was somehow there to stay for a while. Tim Ferriss describes his own story of leaving behind his stressful job as an employee and how he runs profitable businesses smoothly on only 4 hours of care per week. With this book, Tim Ferriss really helped me to leave behind my mentality that kept me inside my stressful PhD job. In doing so, he has become a role model for me and I often feel connected to his thoughts when I read his books.
Tim Ferriss — Tools of Titans (2016)
This is somewhat a continuation of The 4-hour Workweek, in which Tim Ferriss provides a lot of details about how he continues to learn being healthy, wealthy, and wise from other impressive people. I admire Tim Ferriss for having mastered the art of incorporating external teachings into his own life without blindly following them, and for sincerely documenting this for himself and for his readers. Interestingly, even though he reads a lot, I remember reading in his book that this can only bring you so far. At some point, I also consider it more beneficial for myself to get out there and start doing stuff.
Mirriam Prieß — Burnout kommt nicht nur von Stress (2013)
When I realized that the situation I was facing had many similarities to what is often called burnout, I ordered this book to educate myself on the topic. It has shaped my perspective on burnout in the following sense. Contrary to common belief, burnout is not only a result of professional stress, but usually, there are various other influencing factors that are typically located outside of work. The author uses a beetle to illustrate that work is only one out of six legs that ideally work together to keep the beetle in motion. The other five legs are family, friends and social contacts, hobbies and individualism, health, and belief. It was a bit ugly to acknowledge that my life would be better with all beetle legs intact while most of them were pretty crippled. However, realizing this and consequently doing the right baby steps to let my legs grow strong again has definitely been worth it. I created myself a gentle reminder of not putting my career first by hanging J Stewart — Scientific Drawing of Beetles (1820) (see: Inspiration from Paintings to Recover from Burnout) on my wall. To reflect on the multi-dimensionality of burnout, I recount my experiences in six different sub stories in the subsequent chapter Progress in Life’s Different Areas.
Bernhard Moestl — Shaolin (2010)
I don’t remember many explicit takeaways of this book right now, but I do remember that it has helped me become more self-confident and less reliant on other people’s confirmation. I can become happier if I define for myself what winning means instead of fighting in the competitions that other people have set up, which may have little benefit for me. These concepts may be pretty abstract and general, but there is also one very concrete situation that often reminds me of this author.
When I used to take a walk in the forest and greeted someone else, I expected a greeting in return of the other person. In fact, I even think that at times, the way I used to greet people was a bit greedy. My motivation to cause a greeting in return was sometimes higher than my motivation to actually greet the other person. Most probably, the other persons sensed that and sometimes did not greet me at all, which caused circles of contemplation in my head. What did I do wrong that the other person does not respond? Or did I do everything right, but the other person is unfriendly? Do I want to view people as generally unfriendly? Usually, I quickly abandoned such thoughts for the time being, but reading Shaolin fortunately helps me abandon my weird greeting habits permanently. The point of greeting someone else is to send a short positive message to them. If I really mean to convey this message, then I lose nothing in doing so. If the other person does not appreciate this, then this is none of my business.
I act in the way I want to act and this alone should be enough to feel content in the interaction with a stranger. Everything else is a nice-to-have that would be naive to expect.
Peter & Michaela Axt — Vom Glück der Faulheit (2001)
Interestingly, I already read this book during high school times and was fascinated by this concept. I can be happy, healthy, and make progress in life without permanently exposing myself to professional and private stress. Back then, I think I did understand this concept pretty well and was wondering why people hustle so much in their free time when they could also simply enjoy life. Well, and ten years later, I did precisely that.
After having read this book again, I feel more comfortable while chilling and doing nothing. When I cancel plans for sports or side hustles because I feel too tired, I no longer feel bad about it, but rather believe that resting in such a situation is actually better for my body than forcing myself into something exhausting. Also, I no longer think I should work or exercise more when I hear other people’s success stories of work or physical fitness.
I heard the advice to reduce stress many times, but usually failed to put it into practice for reasons that I think I finally understand. It typically felt like the other person confirmed their own lifestyle in front of me and had little interest in empathizing with me to adapt their advice to my own situation. I feel like baby boomers who have settled down many years ago have an easier time leading a stress-free life than me today. Also, when they were my age, my impression is that real estate was easier to afford, the job market was slower, pensions were more stable, roles in society were clearer, and global issues seemed to be less concerning for private lives than today. Yes, they are right when they say that less stress is better, but when hustling a bit helps me find personal ways of dealing with the above difficulties, then I prefer being satisfied and stressed over being worried and lazy. Moreover, I admit that it can feel good to explicitly not follow a superficial advice to calm down. For me, it is an act of separation from people who tell me what is good for me without empathizing in me or giving me the support that would actually help me calm down.
And when I am stressed for too long, even when I partially feel happily stressed, mental health becomes an issue, which has also been neglected by many boomers for a long time. When being lazy instead of stressed is not just a nice-to-have, but becomes a necessity to become mentally healthy again, then I make up my own advice to calm down, which I am naturally motivated to put into practice. This also includes a partial shift in perspectives for me. I used to approach problems by actively tackling them, but now that I know it can get too heavy for me, I also approach some problems by accepting their existence, but intentionally caring little about them.
William H. McRaven — Make Your Bed (2017)
I have always liked to make my bed in the morning even if nobody except me sees it until I go to sleep again. Sometimes, I have been wondering if that is a stupid waste of time or even a compulsive behavior, but this book recommendation of a good friend of mine gave me full confirmation. It is my first success moment of the day, during which I can appreciate what I have already done to have my affairs in order and to feel well. After this, I feel that my mentality is set up to do more good things that might also be larger and more meaningful. Making your bed is only one out of many pieces of advice that the author gives. He takes his lessons from his military service in the US and makes it pleasant and interesting for me to read, whereas I otherwise have little insight into life in the military.
Gerrit Kefenstein — Praxishandbuch Schlafoptimierung (2020)
One of my biggest health issues was sleep. When I lay down in bed, it often took me two, three, or even four hours to fall asleep. My sleep was shallow, and even when I happened to fall asleep early, I also woke up early and therefore hardly slept much more than five hours per night for quite some time.
When the initial rush of realizing my health situation was over, I bought this book to educate myself on potential levers to improve my sleep.
And I got to know and tried out many! I really liked the author’s honest way of combining scientific sources, hands-on experience, and personal beliefs in one book, while acknowledging the uncertainties inherent in each approach. It took me about half a year to really notice some improvements, but now I am relieved to be able to falls asleep faster, dream again, and sleep longer and more peacefully again. Here is some of the book’s advice that I consider helpful:
- I go to bed with a feeling of gratitude and peace, which I reinforce by writing down in the evening what I am grateful for.
- I keep tense feelings away from my bedtime by finishing work, intense conversations, or anything that is not relaxing a couple of hours before going to bed.
- I expose myself to bright daylight early in the morning by taking a walk directly after breakfast and I minimize bright light in the hours before I intend to sleep by using blue light filters on my displays and only red lamps when I am at home in the evening.
- My bed and nightstand are electronic-free zones, and my bedtime is electronic-free time. After 10pm, I keep my phone switched off at the other end of the room. An analog alarm clock wakes me up if needed. In the hours before going to sleep, I use my laptop at best for watching relaxing nature documentaries. My router automatically turns off between 10pm and 8am such that being offline is my default mode then. I never take any electronic devices into my bed to make a clear mental cut between them and my sleep.
- I do exhausting sports mostly early in the morning and almost completely avoid it late in the evening.
- I have dinner usually at least four hours before going to sleep and avoid extremely spicy food for dinner.
- I relax, often by meditating, doing Yoga, or listening to binaural beats, for a balanced interplay of my parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) with my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).
- After many years of being vegetarian, I also used fish and meat to experiment with the effect that my nutrition has on my sleep. This is in line with what I have done so far, namely with eating what I believe it is best for me and what I feel most comfortable with. I cannot determine its actual impact, but a slight shift in macro nutrients towards more fat and protein, as well as increased Omega 3 fatty acids from selected fish might have helped my body at that time. Now though, my nutrition is pretty plant-based again, and my good sleep continues.
- Some quick little hacks or a new mattress might facilitate falling asleep, but in the end, it’s the restless thoughts that keep me awake. I think the most obvious way to feel at ease during bedtime is to already feel at ease during daytime. This motivates me to train my mind in a rather general way, and get an improved sleep as a side effect. As far as I remember, this is also one of the messages of the sleep course in Headspace, the meditation app that I have been using.
Seneca — Von der Kürze des Lebens, Von der Seelenruhe, Vom glücklichen Leben, Von der Muße (around 50 CE)
I found it awesome to realize that actively caring about my own well-being is not only a recent trend of burned-out professionals, but was already practiced by really cool philosophers two thousand years ago. While I am rather uneducated about philosophy as a science, I am happy to take away great ideas from stoicism, Seneca’s school of philosophy, for my own life.
Reading these works while being on holiday in Greece, next to ancient ruins and the Mediterranean sea, provided a good atmosphere for stoic literature, even though Seneca himself was Roman.
Through this literature, and by discussing it with a close friend, I learned to appreciate the moral of virtue. Previously, I often measured myself on outcomes, which I, however, often could not achieve as much as I would have liked, which made me restless and partially unhappy. While I was on sick leave, expecting outcomes for the actions that I took to improve my health felt risky in the same sense. I would have driven myself crazy if my actions hadn’t made me healthier. To avoid pressurizing myself like this, I thought that I am better off focusing on just following virtues. Like this, I can be grateful for whatever improvement this will bring. If it brings no improvement at all, then I can at least be satisfied with myself for having followed the virtue successfully. I find it valuable to avoid being harsh with myself for not achieving outcomes that are only partially in my own power anyway.
Some of the virtues I actually try to follow happen to resemble stoic concepts. For example, simplicity and minimalism help me see things clearly and make my life no more complicated than it has to be. I also try to only devote mental and emotional effort to things about which I can actually do something, and I try to radically accept and ideally stay relaxed about everything else. This especially applies to inconvenient health conditions that I can influence only to a degree that I don’t precisely know.
This article is an excerpt from my booklet Burnout & Recovery — Inspiration, Reflection, Bureaucracy & Analogies (free PDF at DNB).
Continue reading: Inspiration from Media to Recover from Burnout: Remarks
Disclaimer
The sections of this booklet that describe my interactions with other persons are only my subjective impressions and should not be seen as objective descriptions. Since my private circumstances changed over the course of writing (summer 2021 to summer 2022), not all contents still apply at the time of publication. I intentionally avoided excessive re-writing of such contents to prevent overproducing.
